Underground as Unintentional Archive

Found here.

Philosophy has a physical effect in New York. Everyone is trying to make his or her mark on the town, and that's evidenced literally throughout the city - in the form of everything from high-end advertisements that cover entire building facades to tiny, consistent mustache graffiti. Even our litter and noise pollution is in its way a record of our existence. Something perhaps about the unlikeliness of being noticed amps up our urge to issue notice.

In this sense, it is unsurprising to point out that these collections of marks-on-the-world tend to congregate and compile in the city's underground. Some of this is due to drift, or the amount of daily time we spend  under the street here and in other metropolitan areas around the world, but I believe some of it is a hold over from supposedly long-lost instincts. From the caves at Lascaux to Plato's allegory of the cave, enclosed spaces have held a fascination for our creative impulses since our first recorded expressions. In many ways it just makes practical sense - underground is generally considered a safe repository, as far as global environments go.

What can be surprising is when the underground serves as an archive or record without conscious effort. In many ways, we can uncover a strange archival topography underground, just by remaining observant. One of my favorite pastimes while waiting for the train is spotting remnants of the The French Connection New York amidst all the now-a-days You've Got Mail glitz. (Or for that matter, spotting the Taking of Pelham 1-2-3 underneath all the Taking of Pelham 1-2-3.) Whether you're a New York diorama artist creating a personal quasi-geological record of Canal Street, or simply a vandal exposing last week's new release under this week's newly-plastered poster, the layers of the underground are too many and varied to count.

Sometimes, whole rooms preserve whole eras. This can give us a glimpse of turn-of-the-century architecture, or even help us pinpoint the frozen year when a section was converted into unintentional archive. The possibilities are pretty endless, and who can say? In a few hundred years, our means of commute might prove our most extant public record for anthropologists. So I say: Keep making your mark.

Tunnels = Choices

The analogy is pretty clear: choice A versus choice B. Perhaps one of the reasons the "dungeons" is in Dungeons & Dragons is because, in addition to being easy to map and plot, tunnels also provide some very clear decision-making and problem-solving scenarios. In fact, I'm often surprised at how linear a game's dungeon map will be. Most people probably just don't want to waste work that might never be experienced, and I can appreciate that; but everyone loves finding Easter eggs, and even the storyteller ought to be surprised once in a while.

Still, the basic choice of tunnel 1 or tunnel 2 is a pretty great one, assuming the stakes are high enough at the time of choosing. I'm a pretty thorough sort - I loathe never getting to find out what lay behind the unchosen door, and so I try to in such a way that I can scout out every corridor. This can be infuriating to those more intuitively inclined, which I secretly relish, because intuitive people are constantly getting the drop on me. I'm that irritating guy who plays chess by taking so much time to contemplate moves that the other person is driven to distraction.

Some will argue that tunnels are a little irrelevant outside of a role-playing game, but I disagree utterly. Even if there weren't a plethora of fascinating contemporary tunnels, the physical form of a tunnel is easily perceived in any number of situations. Sometimes there are tunnels made of crowds of people (a familiar problem in New York City) or of a given person's inability to see more than two or three choices. The idea of a "lesser of two evils" is pretty neatly encapsulated (literally and figuratively) by a pair of tunnels. Either way you choose, you're still underground, still committed to one time and place. The limitation of options not only serves to crystallize decision-making, but can inspire more creativity. That's not even to explore the effect of constraint upon the stakes of a situation or story.

There's something of a tendency in contemporary films to raise the stakes by expanding the horizon: Our hero not only has to overcome her alcoholism in the course of two hours, but SAVE THE KNOWN UNIVERSE. Yet the opposite choice can serve to ratchet up the stakes for all involved. This is an area in which a certain brand of science fiction film excels. I'm hardly the first to notice the omnipresence of corridors in sci-fi genre movies, and while they may technically be the exact opposite "underground," their effect is the same. By limiting the choices, our characters' plights are far more uncompromising. It's also great for pace - everything becomes directional and intentional, and literally picks up pace as the climax approaches (Kubirck aside).

(It's also of course, incidentally, great for economy. I'm learning this personally as I work on my first sci-fi film. Wall panels and portals can be moved around, reconstructed, turned upside down, relit . . . the possibilities are endless. Which is a pretty neat parallel between plotting a movie set and plotting an adventure map. Economy's a valuable virtue in both environment and storytelling.)

Of course, there's also the ultimate cruel twist to all this choice-inspired tunneling. The metaphor so apt, its identification is in its own colloquialism: the Dead End. That famous assonance implies the utter cessation of choice. As the story-teller, we can decide whether this physical feature is an opportunity for the characters to show great resolve and overcome, or whether perhaps it lives up to its name and means an ultimate end to the exploration. When it comes to confronting inevitability, the dead end can prove nice and unconquerable. Sometimes, death and the dead end even coincide exactly.

700 Year Old Underground Cave Homes For Rent in Iran | Inhabitat - Green Design Will Save the World

Via Inhabitat

700 Year Old Underground Cave Homes For Rent in Iran | Inhabitat - Green Design Will Save the World: "Architecture
700 Year Old Hobbit Cave Homes For Rent in Iran
by Yuka Yoneda, 08/03/10
filed under: Architecture


If beachfront property or vacation rentals near prime tourist attractions are no longer cutting it for you, consider checking out a very different type of getaway home. These incredible underground houses carved from natural rock formations local to Kandovan, Iran are available for rent and even for purchase. They might seem like a new gimmick to attract tourists, but these inherently low-energy houses are actually 700 years old!
Photo credit: Streakr



700 Year Old Underground Cave Homes For Rent in Iran, cave home, underground home, low energy living, green design, ancient home, eco design, sustainable design, sustainable architecture, green architecture, passive house, passive cooling, iran, ancient house, eco architecture, kandovan, desert home

Located in northeast Iran at the foot of Mount Sahand, the mound-like homes are carved from volcanic rock, meaning that most of the materials needed to construct them were already located on site. Technically, the dwellings aren’t true underground homes since a portion of them sits above ground, but since much of the living space is buried, inhabitants can expect cooler temperatures during the day without having to jack up the air conditioning (and saving a lot of energy).

As you can see, the style of the homes isn’t as primitive as you might think since a lot of additions have been made in the last 700 years. There are modern doors and windows mixed in with more ancient looking carved out rooms and openings. While the area might look like its from prehistoric times, it’s actually a hoppin’ resort locale with hotels, restaurants and a special mineral water famed for its healing properties.

Via Dornob

Photo credit: Streakr



- Sent using Google Toolbar"

City of the Ants

Checklist

"Equipment for cave exploring includes: a spare telephone, a telephone trumpet... cords and plumb-line for sounding purposes, a measure, some medicines, a flask of rum...knives, thermometer, barometer, pocket compass, paper squared off for topographical drafting, pencils, provisions, and some incense or Armenian paper, which is burned in case there are dead animals putrefying in the depths" - Édouard-Alfred Martel, 1898

Speaking of Morlocks: The Malta Catacombs

From Drow elves to the devil himself, we rarely imagine good-natured, caring folks when we imagine secret underground races. Generally speaking, if it comes from the ground, we loathe and despise it. Perhaps we're compensating for some internal self-awareness of our more soil-bound genetic ancestors? Whatever the cause, it makes for some dang fine horror. The tales from the Maltese Catacombs may have more to do with superstition and poor history preservation than secret races, but they still get my imagination piqued.

via Listverse

The Malta Catacombs

"In 1902, in the town of Paola on the island of Malta, workers making way for a new housing development stumbled across a vast subterranean complex that dated back to Malta’s prehistoric period, some 3000 years ago. The sight has since became a UNESCO world Heritage site, and was officially named the Hal Saflieni Hypogeum. A more extensive archaeological survey of the site was undertaken, and it became clear that all was not as simple as it seemed. Over 30,000 human skeletons were found in burial chambers dotted across the site, including men, women and children. Many skulls had unusually widened craniums and baffled scientists in terms of ethnic origin. Stories began spreading that it was tangible evidence of a subterranean human species.

"The islands earliest inhabitants engaged in human sacrifice to appease their god of the underworld, who they believed dwelled beneath the island itself. The name they gave to him roughly translates as ‘Serpent’. When Saint Paul was shipwrecked on the island as recorded in the bible, he documented this, and even claimed to have been bitten by the serpent himself. He also spent a great deal of time there converting the people from their primitive worship of a reptilian deity to Catholicism. It is believed, by some scholars, that the human sacrifices were involuntarily cast down into the catacombs, to be devoured by the serpent and prevent the islanders from incurring his wrath.

"Rumors of a cover-up, by the Maltese government and other authorities, are rife with stories including the scrubbing of texts and ancient drawings from the catacomb walls, and the mysterious and sudden death of the sites first head archaeologist. The underground complex still hasn’t been fully explored. A British embassy worker in the 1940’s, gave an account of foraying into the sites lowest room on the last level, after convincing the tour guide to allow her access to an area usually off limits to the public. Upon entering a small portal in the wall she claimed to have seen 20 reptilian beings covered in white hair on a ledge across from her. One raised his palm and subsequently her candle extinguished. She made a quick exit but upon returning some days later she was told that the guide who had shown her the portal had never been employed at the site and no such portal existed."

Supercaves

James M. Tabor on supercaves - the deepest, baddest caves on Earth. Talking about the physiological effects, he notes:

"Another thing is that each human brain has a unique tolerance for darkness. Some individuals reach their limit after a certain number of days or certain number of feet below the surface, and then they have an attack called The Rapture, which is like a panic attack on speed. I’ve interviewed people who’ve experienced it and they say it’s like a panic attack but multiplied a hundred times in intensity..."

Man vs. Dungeon

I've been watching a lot of Bear Grylls lately - yes, I know it's mostly staged, but I still like it. A few episodes I've watched have really given me that patented Old School Dungeoneering feel. He's out there, ostensibly by himself, and what matters most is his scarce equipment and the kinds of things that the 1e Wilderness Survival Guide and Dungeoneers Survival Guide were full of. Plus, episodes like the one in Romania are full of the kind of terrain that a good fantasy campaign will thrive on.



In this part of the episode, he has to deal with descending a scree slope (now imagine combat on such a slope, where the enemies are at the top!). Then he goes dungeoneering with an improvised torch. Note that the reason he's using the cave in the first place is to save himself from the time, pain, and effort of dealing with the wilderness! Of course, a fantasy cave would never be quite that uninhabited - we'd always put at least one encounter in it - but I think the idea of having a subterranean cavern (with frigid swim at the end) as a means of travel is actually pretty cool. Remember that one of the original inspiration dungeons, Moria, was traversed by the Fellowship of the Ring for precisely the same reason: it was too hard to go any other way.


Another real danger: claustrophobia and panic. Also, don't forget about "rising floodwaters" - lots of game caverns and dungeons have rivers or waterways or flooded sections, but except for the occasional trap, I don't know that I've ever dealt with rising floodwaters as a dungeon hazard. I rather like the idea. If nothing else, it can be used to cut off a party from retreating to the surface.

There's loads more examples I could pick out, but for now just one more:

Hunting bats for food with a vine racket is a part of the 'Forage' skill that rarely gets described in-game, and maybe that's our loss.

Happy Delving!

Cave Texting and Magic

Consider this item from Engadget:

You know what's really annoying? Teenagers. Even more annoying? Teenagers inventing legitimately useful things and getting awards for it. Meet Alexander Kendrick, the 16-year old inventor of a new low-frequency radio that allows for cave-texting, which isn't some fresh new euphemism, it just means people can finally text while deep underground. How deep, you ask -- well, Alexander's team of intrepid explorers went far enough (946 feet) to record the deepest known digital communication ever in the United States. What you see the young chap holding above is the collapsible radio antenna, though plans are already afoot to ruggedize and miniaturize the equipment to make it more practical for cave explorers and rescuers. Way to go, kid.

Now imagine if you were doing underground work in a world where any magic that existed were somehow atmospheric in nature. Magic would get fainter and fainter and eventually cease to function altogether the deeper you got, unless you had some kind of amplifying device, like this huge collapsible antenna. Beyond a certain point underground, in order for the wizard to be useful in combat, he first has to deploy (and defend) a huge wire cage to draw down magical energies from the distant surface. Afterwords he has to fold it all up again and cart it along, hoping everything still works the next time he has to cast a spell.

"The Megadungeon Design Review Committee"

Over at Unfrozen Caveman Dice-Chucker, they get into checking the slopes of corridors in their Mega-dungeon in order to make sure the math is right. Then it just gets better. Check it out.

Academic Dungeon-Construction Journal

The Journal of Tunnelling and Underground Space Technology (incorporating Trenchless Technology Research) is available online. It's extremely technical, but I'd still love to read some of the articles (sadly not free). Here are a few that caught my eye:

"On utilization of underground space to protect historical relics model", by Zhang Ping, Chen Zhilong, Yang Hongyu, Wang Hui

"Nowadays, under the condition of economic globalization, a lot of valuable historical relics all over the world are in danger because of natural environment and disasters caused by human destruction. The large-scale development and construction of cities and rebuilding of old cities also bring serious “constructive destruction” for all kinds of historical relics. Therefore, it becomes more important to strengthen historical relics protection than ever before. The article expounds the importance of historical relic protection through underground and proposes different models of development of underground space in allusion to relic classification. The use of underground space cannot only alleviate contradiction of urban development and relics protection, but also provide effective measures for protection of valuable relics which are restricted by surface condition, thereby can realize sustainable development of relics protection."

Which seems to be, literally, about building underground complexes to store your treasures in. I've a feeling many of us have an urge right now to reach for the nearest graph paper.


"Tunnel boring machines under squeezing conditions" by M. Ramoni, G. Anagnostou

"Squeezing ground represents a challenging operating environment as it may slow down or obstruct TBM operation. Due to the geometrical constraints of the equipment, relatively small convergences of one or two decimetres may lead to considerable difficulties in the machine area (sticking of the cutter head, jamming of the shield) or in the back-up area (e.g., jamming of the back-up equipment, inadmissible convergences of the bored profile, damage to the tunnel support). Depending on the number and the length of the critical stretches, squeezing conditions may even call into question the feasibility of a TBM drive. This paper sets out firstly to give an overview of the specific problems of TBM tunnelling under squeezing conditions; secondly to analyse the factors governing TBM performance by means of a structured examination of the multiple interfaces and interactions between ground, tunnelling equipment and support; and thirdly to provide a critical review of the technical options existing or proposed for coping with squeezing ground in mechanized tunnelling."

Primarily this is an issue when an umber hulk gets stuck and can't back himself out. Not pretty.

Case studies of groundwater flow into tunnels and an innovative water-gathering system for water drainage, by Diyuan Li, Xibing Li, Charlie C. Li, Bingren Huang, Fengqiang Gong, Wei Zhang

"Groundwater inflow into tunnels can constitute a potential hazard and also is an important factor influencing the speed of tunnel excavation. In this paper the results of numerical modelling are presented to investigate the groundwater flow and the distribution of the pore pressure around tunnels. Two types of tunnels, double-arch tunnel and twin-tube tunnel, were studied. Potential leakage places are identified for the two types of tunnels. The most permeable place in the double-arch tunnel is at the contact interface between the middle wall and the overlying rock. The results of numerical modelling are compared with field observations in the case studies. Based on the results of numerical modelling and the field investigations, an innovative water-gathering system for reducing water leakage was proposed and applied in some tunnels on ChangJi Expressway in China. The water-gathering system can be quickly glued to the rock surface and easily installed for tunnelling. It can be applied in tunnels where water-bearing fractures are well-developed in the rock mass."

I've had numerous issues with groundwater seepage in my underground constructions (except when I've actually used reputable dwarven contractors with a proven track record), so this one holds promise.

Natural ventilation, harnessed by New Kingdom Egyptian tomb builders, may explain the changed floor levels in the Valley of the Kings tomb KV5, by Don Grubble

This article offers a plausible explanation for the floor level changes made during the construction of tomb KV5 in the Valley of the Kings. The construction of ancient Egyptian single entrance subterranean corridor tombs would have required a natural ventilation system; otherwise workers would have suffocated from the diminished oxygen in the depths of the tunnels and from the dust that resulted from the construction. This article postulates that the ancient Egyptians understood the concept of air exchange where, when in the desert, the outside air temperature drops dramatically in the evening causing a cool air draught to flow into the excavations that flushed out the stale air and dust, and replaced it with fresh air, enabling the workers to continue working day after day.

Here's your chance to learn from the experts.

Architecture of World Subways

Via DesignBoom:

London’s underground became the first subway system in the world when it began operation in 1863. Since then, underground subways have been built in almost every major city of the world. From New York and Paris to Hong Kong and Dubai, subways are an essential part of public transportation in cities. Within these systems, architecture plays a big role in defining the environment of the subway. here is a collection of some of the most architecturally interesting subway stations.



t-centralen station (photo via flickr)

Stockholm Tunnelbana
The subway system in stockholm, sweden features art installations in almost every station. The city’s 100 stations feature art by almost 140 artists and it is often called the world’s longest art gallery. The system may focus on artwork, but it also features a number of stations with unusual architecture. The t-centralen station is one of the most distinctive designed by Per Olof Ultvedt in 1975. The station features a massive mural painted on the cavern-like ceiling that exposes the rocky core of the city. many of the system’s stations also feature this unique cavern ceiling that gives them an organic feeling and unique atmosphere.


solna centrum station (photo via flickr)

Read More...

Hibernation

Right. Here's some links since we've been too lazy for real posts:

Abandoned Subway Stations around the world (Infrastructurist)

Disused tunnels and stations on Boston's T (Infrastructurist)

Newly rediscovered 'Beer Caves' in the Bronx (Edible Geography)

Underground residence in Switzerland (Freshome)

The Tunnel that Saved Bosnia (Mental Floss)

Colorful deposits in caves may be microbial waste (io9 - original on National Geographic but their server seems to be having issues)

Step Well

When we think of being subterranean, we immediately think of being "under" ground, but this is not always the case.For some reason, photos of stepwells (bawdi, or baoli, or vav, in Indian dialects) have been tumbling out of 'blogs lately. Perhaps it has to do with the increasing interest in ecologically sustainable lifestyles. Stepwells are in most cases ancient Indian structures built in part to make use of a three-month monsoon season in the course of an entire year, but they have also come to serve cultural and religious purposes. To this end, the stepwells can be beautifully and ornately decorated. The structure of the steps themselves is a simple, pleasing pattern, but look to this post on DesignFlute for examples of how ornate and unique a stepwell can be.In essence, stepwells serve two very basic functions: to collect rain water, and to make it accessible. This account for the enormous basin shape, and the steps. From there, the designs can vary wildly, in part because these structures don't present any of the dangers of reservoirs or other continually renewing or flow-based water management structures. When the water only comes once a year, you might imagine a great deal of ritual can be built up around it, and the common necessity for these structures from place to place also inspires people to take creative responsibility, and identify with the particular details of their design and structure.
Stepwells present all sorts of fascinating combinations of pragmatic use and cultural significance, including a certain synergy of design and natural process. The silt that gathers in these structures comes to act as a natural water filter, for example, which is a quality that can be appreciated by animals as well as humans. One can imagine, too, the way in which a stepwell being the primary source for water during most of the year can develop into elaborate rituals and an appreciation for simple quantity. Just imagine the excitement and bounty of an enormous, full basin of clean water, and very gradually watching as it sinks lower, and lower, revealing more and more layers of steps to traverse, as the year progresses.Not all stepwells are wide-open to the sky, either. Many have structures built across their upper levels that allow rain through, but also provide shade and useful rooms and sub-levels for various uses in the drier season.
And then again, there's the steps.

Oh, those steps...
I have to imagine that every community has one or two epic legends about folks taking a tumble down the local stepwell just before the monsoon season, when it would take a particularly long (and jarring) time to reach the inevitable conclusion. I can't help but wonder, too, if some folks get especially adroit with maneuvering on those myriad pyramid-like step structures. Errol Flynn truly missed a great environment for showcasing his legwork, that's all I'm saying further on the matter.
Stepwells are water temples. They represent a magnificent, ancient solution to an absolute necessity.

Profound thanks to InfraNet Lab for a far more informative, yet somehow succinct, explanation of the function of these structures than any other source I was able to find.

Link Roundup

Sorry about the lack of posts - busy and tired. But here's a few articles I would have written about:

Urban Salt Caves (Edible Geography) - not necessarily subterra, but the idea of turning a former apartment into a salt cave is totally awesome.

Subeconomic Space (BLDGBLOG) - more smuggling tunnel stuff - this time in Gaza.

Underground L.A.?

Yes. (via BoingBoing)

Urban Stalactites

Spotted on the uptown-bound platform of the 4/5/6 last weekend. At first glance I took them for the usual peeling paint that can appear on the ceilings of the older subway tunnels (and given what paint used to be made of, isn't that an appealing thought?) but I soon recognized these miniature stalactites for what they are.

Natural stalactites are the result of dripping limestone elements that recombine in almost palindromic chemical reactions as they make contact with water and air, respectively. Stalactites can also form, however, on concrete, through a more rapid reaction fueled by the calcium oxide found in concrete. It's interesting how natural processes can inform a man-made structure -- we tend to focus on the reverse, but nature always has the last word.

"Smugglers Build an Underground World"

Via "Smugglers Build an Underground World" NYT, Dec 2007:

Monica Almeida/The New York Times

TECATE, Calif., Dec. 6 — The tunnel opening cut into the floor of a shipping container here drops three levels, each accessible by ladders, first a metal one and then two others fashioned from wood pallets. The tunnel stretches 1,300 feet to the south, crossing the Mexican border some 50 feet below ground and proceeding to a sky-blue office building in sight of the steel-plated border fence.

Three or four feet wide and six feet high, the passageway is illuminated by compact fluorescent bulbs (wired to the Mexican side), supported by carefully placed wooden beams and kept dry by two pumps. The neatly squared walls, carved through solid rock, bear the signs of engineering skill and professional drilling tools.

...

Most of the tunnels are of the “gopher” variety, dug quickly and probably by small-time smugglers who may be engaged in moving either people or limited amounts of drugs across the border. But more than a dozen have been fairly elaborate affairs like this one, with lighting, drainage, ventilation, pulleys for moving loads and other features that point to big spending by drug cartels. Engineers have clearly been consulted in the construction of these detailed corridors.

While a 1300' tunnel isn't exactly an 'Underground World', the idea does have some possibilities to it. What would a more complicated underground complex dedicated to smuggling look like? Where would such a complex be located? What would its inhabitants be like?

1)Where are smuggling tunnels found? Smuggling takes place where some commodity or service is cheaper on one side of a border of some sort, and profit can be made by selling it on the pricier side of the border. Once it's across the border, further smuggling tunnels/complexes/methods may be used to continue the commodity's journey to the center of maximum profit for the smuggler.

Top places to find smuggling tunnels in the real world today are places like the US/Mexico border - there are people who want to cross, and there is also a commodity (drugs) which is easier/cheaper to produce on the Mexican side and smuggle across than it is to produce on the 'denied' US side of the border. Another place smuggling tunnels may be found today is on the Egypt/Gaza Strip border, where weapons and other denied goods that can be obtained in Egypt are smuggled into Gaza. These borders are not 100% hostile, but neither are they tension-free.

2)What is being transported? You name it. Drugs, money, people (with or without their consent), weapons, and other goods get smuggled through a variety of means. Perhaps in a fantasy setting, monsters that have been eradicated and outlawed in a peaceful kingdom are smuggled in for underground bloodsport arenas. Deep elves pay handsomely for surface elves captured and transported below as slaves. Salt is taxed heavily in one kingdom but plentiful next door, and the salt mines connect directly to passages that circumvent the border.

3)What features might a smuggler's complex have? Well, for starters, its about transportation, so there will be systems of pulleys, tracks, elevators, slides, and other means of conveying things from one part of the complex to another with relative ease. Even so, a smuggler must be able to stop things getting from one place to another too easily when law enforcement (or delvers!) show up, so any such transport system will be peppered with defenses, traps, diversions, false pathways, and portions which can be shut off by the complex's controllers. It will have hidden entrances at least on the denied side (but probably on both sides), and may have 'dead drops' for cargo so that suppliers or customers never actually come face to face with the smugglers.

If the complex is inside a borderland mountain, it might have lookout towers on both sides of the border, to warn of pending invasion on the denied side and of incoming shipments on the production side. It might also contain warehouses for storing goods, housing areas for the smugglers (or any living traffic). It might have communication systems of speaking tubes built in to allow various parts of the complex to coordinate moving goods or people. If the complex ever falls into disuse and becomes inhabited by other denizens, these features will still make it distinct from other subterranean complexes. The speaking tubes may instead be used for taunting other denizens, and controlling the chokepoints in the transportation system will always indicate who the real powerholders are.

Am I forgetting anything?

Storing $1,000,000 of treasure

Via Weather Sealed, here's a handy chart of how much space $1,000,000 worth of various goods takes up, the best subterranean hiding place, and the, er, risks associated with each.
Stuff That You Might Put In Your Hole

Material	Value Per Pound	Size Of $1,000,000	Bury In	Pros	Cons
Wheat	$0.09	190,000 bushels	subterranean silo	never hungry	bulky, mildew, mice, locusts
Moonshine	$0.13	160,000 7gal stills	corked clay jugs	many lovely banjo solos	blindness
Gasoline	$0.49	320,000 gallons	underground tank	Peak Oil, baby!	fumes, third degree burns
Ammo	$2.10	525,000 shells	surplus ammo cans	gun owners need you	you need owners with matching gun
Vodka	$7.80	1,800,000 shots	Russian-proof bear boxes	the Bloody Mary	requires V8 and Worcestershire
Jerky	$18	27 tons	duct-taped lawn bags	infinite lifespan	everything stinks like jerky
Cigarettes	$57	7 pallets	basement of abandoned 7-11	captive market	nicotine stains
Guns	$60	2,500 shotguns	water-tight firearm lockers	reinforces Alpha Dog image	ATF raids, terrorism indictment
Silver	$270	3,700 pounds	rolling plastic totes	Werewolves begone!	not Gold
Caviar	$2,400	1,100 servings	Arctic tundra	endear yourself to power elite	must ice or eat within 3 hours
CPUs	$6,000	4,000 chips	sealed anti-static tray	light weight, inert, brainy	loses half of value every two years
Cocaine	$9,000	50 kilos	legs of faux llama keepsakes	world-wide demand	unstable customers, Scarface
Gold	$16,500	275 bars, 100g each	treasure chest	time-tested currency	metal detectors, confiscation
$100 Bills	$45,000	43? stack	mason jars	backed by U.S. Government	worthless beyond Thunderdome
Diamonds	$175,000	black velvet pouchfull	vault with lasers and trip wires	profit, intrigue, girl’s best friend	low utility, De Beers assassins
Plutonium	$2,000,000	1.3 inch sphere	argon-filled, lead-lined bunker	ultra-compact	CIA, critical mass, death by inhalation

Chi-Town Underground:

Points, too, for "Pynchonian twist":

Subterranean deluge in Chicago. [via Granta]